Defination of Atlanta

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The
only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn
around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and
include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."
Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with,
"Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is
not to be confused with:
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way
home. If you ask anyone for directions they will
always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all they
drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink
unless it's made by Coca-Cola.

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport
is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear
sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.

Fridays rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am
Saturday.
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so
do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will
simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawns duh LEE-on".

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to
immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single
snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days
and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15
minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold
out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and
beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta that has a
posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain
80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known
to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways.
I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be
going
"North" or "South". The locals identify the
direction
by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer
Loop".
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be
going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to
one of the interstates and you will soon find one in
the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver
the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger
finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their
feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in
Georgia.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a
couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start
drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

"Life may not always be the party we hoped for...
but while we are here we might as well dance!"